Two more spamscammers

"Valeriya" is proving so much fun that I entered into conversation with two more spamscammers.

I got this in my spambox:

My name is Svetlana! I ask that you be careful! Please read my letter!
I want to find a loved one who was always by my side! The purpose of my writing - the beginning of correspondence with you! I'm ready to reveal to you their heart and soul! I need only serious relationship! I'm looking for a man aged 30-55. I want to leave you my personal email:
lisavipe@yahoo.com
Necessarily waiting for your answer! I am confident that we will get a lot of fun on our communication! I look forward to your reply. Your new friend Svetlana!

and I responded:

Today my loins sprung with happiness and joy. You are the woman I was looking for.

Is $10,000 enough for you to come to America and obtain a visa? I will also pay travel fees and pet quarantine for any goats or such you own.

I also received this in my spambox:

Hello! How are you getting on? My name is Anna.
        Probably you are surprised to see my letter on your screen. To tell the truth I've never thought that I will write to the stranger. I was interested in it so that I decided to write to you. I took your E-mail in agency of acquaintances (marriage agency). I'm writing to you from agency and I haven't a lot of time because  I should go for work. My girlfriend  advised me to address in this agency . She has met her husband here. I am very happy for her, because she  found  person  of her dreams.
        The man which I would like to see with myself should be tolerant, polite  in communication with people,  clever, untrite. He should have good sense of humour. I think that beauty of the person's soul is more important than beauty of the body.
 Now I have to go for work. However  I  would like to know  more about you, about your ideas, life principles, your interests. If my message intrigued you write to me on my E-mail: volneyres@rambler.ru

        As soon as possible I will reach up to the computer on the work  or in the Internet club, I'll answer your letter and tell more about myself. I send you the photo and I hope you like it))) Of course I wait more your photos.

        Have a good day!!!

and I responded:

My loins spring with glee upon this fateful day. I ejaculate my joy to the farthest mountains that you have contacted me.

As part of my work I have some iPhone4's that I don't use or want. I'll mail you a few if you wish. Talk about a smartphone which basically has AIDS.