Deceased Relative / Client. !: Scott Adams tries to back out of our transaction

He suspects that I am a joker. I must slap him a bit.

From: xxxxxx <xxxxxxx@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Oct 28, 2010 at 1:23 PM
Subject: Re: Deceased Relative / Client. !
To: Mr Adams Scott <adamsscott@acerconsultants-uk.com>


Wait a goddamned minute. Uncle Culpepper's middle name was Fred. Uncle Culpepper Fred Smuckles.

Are you trying to cheat me out of my inheritance? I can sue your ass in Internet Court, you little shit.

Now I demand that you send me a scan of his death certificate. If my dear uncle is actually dead, I want to know. I haven't been able to get in touch with him on the phone, but he's an old man.

Listen. Cunt. You will send me the death certificate of my uncle if you indeed have one, or so help me God I will litigate.

Note that if you have the wrong Fred Smuckles, I don't mean this personally. I am just very concerned regarding the health of my family, even those in distant lands.

Note that if you have the right Fred Smuckles, I will hunt you down.

Call me immediately on my mobile number upon sending me the death certificate.

On Thu, Oct 28, 2010 at 12:37 PM, Mr Adams Scott <adamsscott@acerconsultants-uk.com> wrote:

Dear Ramses Smuckles,

Thank you for your response to the inquiries. I take it by your response that you have no explicit knowledge of the subject. The fellow with the previously referred description: Mr. Frederick Smuckles died intestate and nominated no next of kin after having made substantial investments with Royal Bank of Scotland PLC. Standard procedure dictates that we seek out and exhaust all channels to find any one related to inherit the title that his estate may pass on.
From what I see, we have not been successful. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you.

Thank you for your kind understanding.

Yours sincerely,
Mr Adams Scott
ACER Consultants Service Ltd
For: Royal Bank of Scotland.
364 Windbridge,London Uk.

---

Date: Wed, 27 Oct 2010 14:14:25 -0400
Subject: Re: Deceased Relative / Client. !
From: xxxxx@gmail.com
To: adamsscott@acerconsultants-uk.com

I love your cartoon. My, Dogbert gets me every time!

Yes, I do have a dead relative who lived in Zurich. Old Uncle Culpepper. He was a mighty man, steeped in southern charm and mint julep. Tell me he is not dead! Oh dear.

If it is indeed Uncle Culpepper Smuckles, I assure you I can provide mountains of photographs and such of us taking an iced tea together on the porch, inhaling the cool scent of honeysuckle while the gentle sounds of cottonpickers flow to us in the languid breeze of Louisiana. I also have several of his letters. Would this constitute sufficient proof?

2010/10/27 Mr Adams Scott <info@acerconsultants-uk.com>

From: Mr Adams Scott
ACER Consultants Service Ltd.

This is a confidential message from ACER Consultants: private consulting firm in London, United Kingdom.

I have been directed to contact you with regards to ongoing investigations involving a deceased client of Royal Bank of Scotland. The client, who shared the same last name with you, died intestate so it is standard and mandatory that a next of kin be sought who may inherit the estate. Kindly clarify the following:

 - Are you aware of any relative of yours whose last known contact address was Zurich, Switzerland, with investments of considerable value with Royal Bank of Scotland?

 - If you answered yes to the above then can you establish beyond reasonable doubt your eligibility to assume status of next of kin to the deceased?

Understand that we are at this point contstained to share more details of this matter with you. We will need to hear from you urgently and hope you can assist us in bringing this inquiry to a conclusion.Please respond to my private email below as soon as possible to afford us the opportunity to close this investigation. Thank you for accommodating our enquiries.

Yours sincerely,
Mr Adams Scott
ACER Consultants Service Ltd
For: Royal Bank of Scotland.
364 Windbridge,London Uk.
Email: mradams_scott@consultant.com
Tel/fax: 00-44-7005-921-477

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--
Ramses Luther Smuckles
We are, after all, professionals.

--
Ramses Luther Smuckles
We are, after all, professionals.

--
Ramses Luther Smuckles
We are, after all, professionals.