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Letter is attached:
My name is Valeriya. I’m 34. I wasn’t married and have no children. I do not smoke or use any alcoholic beverages. I am young and patient, aim-oriented lady. I am sure that the best criteria of any person is respect towards everybody else.
In my free time, I practice sport or go jogging in the park. I am a very romantic person indeed. Sometimes I close my eyes and go daydreaming. You will think now – why has this woman written me a message, she has everything!. My life lacks the best feeling. I am single .
I am lonely and get frozen because of this emptiness in my life. I see the sunset every day and ask God to send me a real love.
In my country the 90% of men want to have a woman in order to humiliate her. That is why I have decided to try my fortune by the means of the Internet. I have not done it before, but now I have this opportunity and hope that some of my angels will help me. If you are interested in my personality, send me your e-mail, send me a response. I want to get to know you. I am searching for a boyfriend to bring this fullness and completeness into my life. I want to divide everything with the one I will love!
Please write me only on my personal e-mail - beautyvaleriya@yahoo.com
In the following e-mails I will tell you more about me and my life. For sure, you will see lots of my pictures, where you will see me and get to know my lifestyle. These pictures will reveal me different – happy, pensive and sad sometimes. If you read my message, I get a possibility to hope for love! I am looking forward to your message. I really want to know more about you.
Remember of me.
Your new pen-friend,
Valeriya.
I replied:
Are you email for to make connect with my soul? I want so much for
lonely interstellar vacuum that is heart to find planet or binary
system. Tundra daydreams I know but the ape in me shouts in loneliness
too. Life for the making good happiness. Body for the loving. Tongue
for the licking.
etc.
?
I am a man. An alive person with testicles and the hunger for
adventure. I have a cat. A kitten also, you will one day meet them and
laugh such.
This is my cat. I know her.
Uh I basically don't think that there can be such as true love there's
usually a large porpoise somewhere hella angry at me for eating his
fritattas,
Oh how the days go by when you are having Fun. Oh how people smile, oh
how they laugh. We can Laugh too.
Love is like... love is a bit like basketball. I am there, and the
other person is there, and I put myself inside them, and I am the
winner.
Man, what people got to realize is that love is life, and life is
freedom. Freedom to do things. Things like buy the perfectly preserved
body of Orson Welles and drink champagne out of its head. Things like
throwing a party inside a bathroom. We have life, we have feet, we
should use these things. These things are good.
I got a long and rambling letter (complete with model photos) completely disregarding that insanity:
Hello, my new friend.
I am very pleased that you are not disregarded my letter. In my heart I was hoping that you answer me. I read your letter, and there were sparks of joy in my eyes. We will be able to know each other closer, although the Internet dating for me is something new. The first time I ran into an acquaintance of people over the Internet, it's hard to begin his story about myself, but I'll try. My name you already know. My name is Valeriya, for friends just Lera. I was born in an ordinary Russian family in the city of Kaluga. My date of birth June 3, 1976. Now I'm 34 years old. I live with their parents, I have no brothers and sisters. I am an only child. My height - 1.72 cm and weight 55 kg. I have no bad habits, I do not drink alcohol and never tried drugs - it's not in my rules. I am very sympathetic, affectionate, gentle and sociable girl. Really appreciate in a person a sense of humor and sympathy.
I live in Russia. Russia is one of the most ancient countries, the rich variety of cultural and architectural values. I grew up in a small town. Its name - Kaluga. My hometown is located in central Russia. The population of my city of about 300,000 people. The city is situated on the banks of the Oka River near Yachenki 190 km southwest of Moscow. Kaluga is known that from 1892 to 1935 in Kaluga, lived and worked for a prominent inventor, theorist Konstantin Tsiolkovsky Astronautics. In this regard, the flag of the city and on the full Coat of Arms is the first Soviet satellite. Almost like all cities in Russia, my home town is rich in cultural and architectural values. The city is decorated with a large number of monuments, museums and beautiful architectural buildings.
You can see some lovely photos of my city in this letter.
Just wanted to tell you a little about my parents. My mom name is Anastasia, she was 55 years old. She is beautiful, kind woman. Mom worked as a veterinarian in a clinic for animals in our city. She loves animals, and gave them to treat more than 25 years. Despite his busy schedule, because treatment of animals is a very important lesson and takes a lot of time and effort, my mother was able to raise in me a real woman - smart, kind, honest and fair.
My dad - this is a very beloved by me man. His name is Vladimir. Pope 57 years. He works as a teacher. My dad is very responsible and fair people. I am very grateful to parents who have given birth to and nurtured me as I am.
Looking in my childhood, I remember with great joy the day when I went to first grade. I was 7 years old. I went to a classroom where a teacher was my father. I like it very much. Because I loved and love my dad. I tried to learn, so dad could set me up as an example to other students in our class. And I have it good at. After high school for good, I decided to follow my mother's footsteps and enrolled in medical school. I really enjoyed being a student. Student Life - this is a very fun time. Time when you can express yourself and show their abilities. I met many interesting people, learned that was not previously known to me. Graduated, I became a children's doctor - a pediatrician. I found it difficult to find a job, because in Russia is not appreciated by young professionals. I was looking for a long time, and finally, luck smiled at me. I found work in the children's clinic where I work now. Treatment of young children is my calling. I love children and are always happy to come to their aid. My friend, you love children?
You're probably surprised that I write to you, because in my life it would seem everything is fine? But it is not. I am very lonely and solitary man could not be happier. I'm looking for someone who would understand, love and respect me and what I do. My heart is free, and by this I am unhappy. My friend, perhaps you just someone who can ignite the spark of happiness in my heart. Please tell me a story about themselves. Do you work? How is your life? What do you like doing in your spare time? Tell me about the place where you live? You're looking for a serious relationship? I am very interested to know you. I'm wondering Internet communication, as it is with me first.
I look forward to your new email to me.
Your new friend Valeriya.
I replied:
I am pleased that you are such a beautiful tower. Especially at night.
The light hits your windows and makes magic.
I am learning Russian! Let's talk in Russian!
Я хочу так неудачу иметь секс с вашим ишаком. Очень плох. Oh дорогой
лорд я ударил бы того осла в биении сердца. Я хочу прийти на всем ваши
тучные губы, и после этого душу бездомную персону. Мой русский
хороший?
I will be reading Dostoyevsky in the original, one of these days.
If you have your rabies shots, I will marry you for only $10,000.
Please send a picture of a pond (with ducks, of course), and I will
send you my banking details.
It replied, completely ignoring all this madness except for an oddly lucid request regarding what the hell I was talking about with bank details:
Hello, my dear friend Tom.
Thank you, that reacted with understanding to my letter. I am waiting for your answer. I am very pleased that we have the opportunity to continue communication. So we know each other closer.
In Russia, the weather is good, which gives me a smile. How's your weather, my friend? What are you doing? I hope you feel fine.
Why do I need your bank details? I want to find true love.
Your Russian in a very poor level. Need to learn. I'm ready to be your personal teacher in the future.
Today I would like to tell you about how I spend my spare time.
I wrote to you that I live in a small town. People in my town holy to keep old traditions of passing them from generation to generation.
Since childhood, I carried away the fine arts, painting. I really like to visit the exhibition of paintings at the museum in our city. I've read the literature about the artists of different eras. I really like portraiture, but I'm happy to allow myself to be dissolved and the beauty of the landscape.
Unfortunately, I can not afford to go to an art gallery in Moscow or St. Petersburg, and about the exhibitions held in other countries, there can be no question. Salaries of doctors in Russia are so small that it does not give me this opportunity. And I would really like to see and enjoy original works of art on display in museums in Europe. But alas, this is still my dream. I also love listening to classical music. I think that classical music not only soothes the body and soul. Of the classics I like Mozart, Bah, Tchaikovsky. Of course, I have other hobbies.
I grow various plants and flowers. I am already 14 varieties. Flower room, so for them is not difficult to maintain. All the colors are different, but each - its beautiful and attractive. Some of the plants delight me with their beautiful buds during flowering. Do you like flowers? I would really like you to see my collection of plants and flowers. My friends give me flowers for different holidays, so I think that soon I have to become even bigger. The most beautiful flower, I would like to give you at our meeting, unless, of course, it will take.
I also love to cook. I myself come up with new dishes and trying to bring them to reality. My mom and dad often my taste the culinary works. Always speak only positively. I hope that in future I will treat you to the most favorite dish. Its name until I leave in secret, so for you it was a surprise. But can say only one thing that you will enjoy!
I am active in sports, I try to keep one's figure and keep myself in shape. In the morning I was doing aerobics, stretching, and in the evening, if possible go to the gym or pool.
In the summer I like to go into the woods, sometimes on a bicycle. Walking in the woods, listening to the birds singing, listening to the wind rustling in the trees as the sun's rays breaking through the fluffy paws firs and pines. It's so beautiful. Do you love nature, my friend Tom?
Together with parents, we collect berries and mushrooms, of which then prepare a delicious piece and in the winter treats guests. Have you ever tried the "Russian pickles?
In the summer I like to sunbathe on the beach. We leave the river or lake. When I am on the river, I remember childhood days when we came here to swim with my parents and my father taught me to swim.
I've never been at sea. Going to the sea - this is my dream. Perhaps in the future we will be on vacation together? I want to feel the soft waves, the smell of the crystal sea and the sound of the surf.
I want to know you closer, my friend. I have never traveled outside of Russia. In the future I would like to travel outside the country - it is my fondest dream. I would like to learn the culture and way of life in other countries, the mentality of people, because it is so interesting.
In winter time, my parents go skiing in the grove, which is close to home. I like the pleasant fatigue, the exercise in the fresh air comes in the body. Usually in the winter, next to our house a skating-rink and kids have fun frolic in the fresh, winter air, skating. After a winter walk, we drink hot tea with biscuits, which I pre-bake. Please tell us about his favorite time of year?
Friends say that I am a very kind, intelligent, sensual and honest girl. I have a very soft character. I love my friends, but there turns out very rarely. I work a lot. Do you have friends with whom you have a good time, my friend Tom?
I am kind, intelligent parents. I am working on the excellent work - flying children. But in my life is not a man who would love me with all my heart and respect. I'm looking for love without deceit and mistrust. I just want to build a serious relationship.
Please tell me more about yourself. What do you enjoy? What do you expect from our acquaintance? How are your days Tom? It seems to me that we're very similar and can find a common language. True?
Unfortunately, now I must finish my letter. My time in Internet cafes come to an end. I look forward to your new email to me, Tom! I would really like to see your pictures. Please send them to me, okay? Very important for me your letters. I want to learn you closer and develop our relations.
Your friend, Valeriya.
I responded:
I invented a type of cutting board and run a chain of franchise
restaurants called Top of The Food Chain. We serve things like
cilantro-infused ape, fresh abalone, living octopus, and vat-grown
human thigh meat. The thing about my cutting boards is that they do
not hold DNA evidence.
About my childhood, what is there to say? Things were rough. I was
born on the New Jersey Turnpike, in a muddy ditch. No, it wasn't one
of those things where the mother is poor and must give birth anywhere.
She just wanted me to have a cool story about being born on the side
of the NJ Turnpike in the early morning lull of traffic.
Things were so rough, I never had pets. Only animals that I would name
before having to kill and eat them. I fondly remember Dinner and
Lunch. They were ducks. I remember they tasted good.
Things were so rough, I had to sell one of my kidneys at the age of 4.
The money went towards rent. My parents were always strict, and there
was no other way I could afford that month's rent.
Things were so rough, I once got a letter from a Somalian boy my age
which included a Mars Bar and a bag of rice. Suzanne Summers once sent
me a signed photo of herself eating a ham hock.
Oh, there were good times. There was that time my collie warned my
parents that I was trapped in the well. We loved that collie, her name
was Thanksgiving. There was that time, hah, our local restaurant hired
out a greasemonkey and he would tell me about cars in his office (the
bathroom). He used to be able to fix anything by hitting it with his
fist. "HEEEY" he was so cool. I remember once going to a show next
door, my neighbor Wilbur taught his horse how to talk. Oh, and that
time a few of my friends and I went hiking along the railroad tracks
to find a dead body of a kid older than us before the neighborhood
tough guys got to it. I remember all of them, sometimes, and a tear
drips from my eye. Teddy, now he was a tough guy...
When I got older, I discovered that there was a lucrative business to
be made in real estate. I would put on some sturdy boots such as men
wear, and go stalking through wetlands to find rare insects. Then I
would tell the owner of the land that I would send evidence of this
rare species to the Environmental Protection Agency unless I received
money. Oh, this is how I afforded my first car. A DeLorean. It ran
well, but the flux capacitor was a bit wonky and kept giving off
smelly neutrino emissions.
Later I went to college and majored in Ultraviolence. I remember my
professors, Manson and Gacy and Dahmer and Gein. Old Gein, he was a
funny guy. He used to make really good sausages, and attach little
name tags to them. "HELLO MY NAME IS Steven"
After college, things got settled down. I married an Amish woman and
had 12 children with her. We had a good decade together before she and
my children died in a terrible gunfight. Our family was always very
strict about settling arguments with gun battles.
A widower, I resolved to travel. I went to Japan and made some money
selling fake Kobe beef. I went to Nigeria and became a mercenary for
Americans desiring "419 Justice" on those guys. Oh, the tattoos and
ritualistic mutilation! Those were fun times.
After a while it became boring. I was rich, without cares, white, and
well endowed. But I didn't have a direction in life. You know how that
is, swinging your dick in increasingly fancy and pompous circles while
inwardly wondering why you bothered to wake up.
I went into the Adult Film Industry. Hunter S. Thompson and I pooled
some of our money together and we made Soft Boy a household name.
Well, that soured when our lead, Rod Huggins, got AIDS from his pool
boy and died somewhere in Sri Lanka.
I was without direction once again. I went back to Africa and did
terrible things to giraffes. I wrote a few international bestselling
children's books. I did captions for the Spice Channel. I dabbled in
painting and music.
I did a collaborative project with Klaus Nomi and Tom Waits. It was
like We Are the World, but with black latex suits and accordians and
an act that included a live pig being shaved. You can still find tapes
of it in Siberia, I am told.
Nowadays, I am pretty much settled down. I have a patio on which I
hold parties. I have a couple fridges full of crispy Stellas. I have a
guy in Sierra Leone who handles my exotic meat supply. Sometimes we
party, sometimes we just stand around and talk about the good old
rough days. I don't visit Mark Twain much anymore. It's been a while
since I talked to Lonis Edison.
Basically what I'm saying is that it's time for me to experience the
full sensuality of a Russian woman.
It, completely and utterly oblivious to the SPARTA of this letter, responded:
Hello, my dear friend Tom!
I am very pleased to read your new letter. I am very pleased that you did not forget about me. I am glad that we can know each other closer. In recent years, getting your letters, I began to smile.
How are you? What new has happened to you? How mood? How's your weather? I hope you are fine!
Yesterday after work I decided to clean up the bookcase. Examining the book, I looked through those I have read, and those that I still read it, I put on a separate shelf. I like reading books. Reading the book can be a good idea to spend your free time. And if the product I will seem very exciting, I can afford to dream and imagine yourself in the place of the main characters. Do you like reading books, my dear friend Tom? Books, which authors do you like Tom? I'll try to find the books you read, and he brought them to my collection.
I also love to read the works of love, in which the hero of the novel loves, respects, worships his chosen one, carry her in his arms. Novels about a beautiful love always attracted me. But, unfortunately, in my life I was not able to meet someone who would love me without looking, without lies and deceit, making my life a fairy tale. Who knows, maybe you're exactly the man I was waiting and waiting while our hearts to beat in unison? Time will tell.
Four years ago, by accident, a bus, driving to work, I met with a man. He offered to meet me after work. He seemed a very decent and well-mannered. I agreed. In the evening we strolled in the park, talked, looked at each other's eyes and it seemed to me that I fell in love at first sight. Then he vanished, and rang me just after three days, suggesting once again to meet me after work. We have a great time, went to a cafe, walking the city at night, even greeted the dawn of the River. He promised to get me from the sky a star, but then again disappeared, and the long time I have heard nothing about it. But some time later he called and told me that we can no longer occur. He has a child and a beloved wife, who learned about our meeting with him. He said that he leave his wife he can not, because it is in its full content. It turned out that his wife works a lot and he was looking for entertainment on the side. This was fun I am. Even now, when I am writing this letter to my eyes with tears. I am very sad that 90 of Russian men behave this way, not respecting women. I no longer trust men. But now, I decided to try again. After all, there can be such that all the men on the planet Earth is equally cynical, selfish and calculating. I hope that this time the luck will smile to me, and I find the constant love - someone who will respect me and not only use for their purposes.
Many Russian men drink alcohol, beat their wives do not care for the children to drop out of women to their fate. Not for nothing that the Russian saying - "a Russian woman in burning house and will stop a galloping horse." This suggests persistence and willpower of Russian women.
My friend, do you ever loved? What do you expect from our dialogue? I want to know you more and see how our relations are becoming warmer. Please tell me about your past relationships Tom.
Please do not forget about me. I am waiting for your new letter, as the birds are waiting for the sun early spring morning.
Your friend, Valeriya.
I responded:
Today was a good day. I spent the day reminiscing about those innocent
moments before the brutal murder of both my parents.
We were at the theater. The show was a dark one, full of sound and
shadow and justice.
I remember a "Hush..." and then a gunshot. My life would be forever
altered. My faithful butler raised me as his own, giving me the love I
could not get from my late parents. I mastered martial arts and the
art of detection. I spent time abroad while my family fortune
prospered under the good hands of my father's best friend.
I vowed to fight crime in the night, in the dark, in the shadows. I
vowed to wear my underpants on the outside.
So what I'm basically saying is that I am fully prepared to accept the
voluptuous sensuality of a Russian woman.
I'll keep posting new exchanges as they occur. This is very fun.
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