Emeril responds

Emeril LeGoinegasque responded to my plea for advice:

 We must be cautious in our dealings with this man. We must please
remember that where hope fades the light it must burn. It must burn
greatly.

I spent hours upon the hours last night uncovering information
regarding this man, and I did prove to myself adequately that he is a
genuine article. He can be trusted to an end.

I do not think he could understand the enormity of Project Dandelion.
The days they are there when I can not understand Project Dandelion.
Let him know about Project Buttered Ham. If he does shriek and spit on
us about Buttered Ham, we will know he never could join us in
Dandelion.

I do see that I gave my $500,000 to the right person. I did wire you
an extra $500,000. Your funds for this project are now numbered at the
$1 million. Do what you can to get this man on our side. And please
get those orphans. It is essential to the future lest things be ashes
in our mouthes.

I did tell T. about your culinary misadventure, he stated that perhaps
it was the mussels you had eaten before coming over. He did say the
establishment in which you purchased yonder mussels was named "Bob's
Shellfish Shack" and that such places cannot be considered safe.

Good man, Emeril.  I responded to him, "accidentally" cc'ing it to George Padmore:

Thanks, boss.

I'll explain as much of Buttered Ham as I think he can stand. If his
orphanage has, say, 20 orphans, we may be able to acquire them for
only $12,000. This is supposing they are simply virginal.

I've got a suggestion. It may be more expensive, but we can afford it.
And, as you said, the money is in my discretion. Let's pay $1,000 for
orphans that are not only virginal, but obese. Yes, that means we will
have to pay him $20,000 for 20 orphans. But I believe this is
essential to Buttered Ham and obviously critical to Dandelion.

As of yet, I don't know how many orphans he has, or in what condition.
We can afford up to $1,000,000 or 1000 orphans in virginal/obese
condition.

I'll contact him ASAP to find out what he can provide us.

Oh: tell T. that I spent good money on those mussels and there's no
way in hell that a fancy $4 mussel plate will be prepared using shit
ingredients. I'm still shitting a river here. Do you think I should
sue them? We may be talking a few million. I'm mentally traumatized by
the image of geysering shit out my asshole.

P.S. We can't let him tweak on us. We need those orphans immediately.
I'm going to arrange to wire $50,000 to him just to get him on our
side for the rest of the transaction. Don't know when he'll get back
to me with payment details, or whether he will even agree.