Juliet, Oh Juliet

I got this average refugee-orphan-with-a-ton-of-money scam letter:

Hello,

Thanks for your email and the acceptance to assist me. I want you to help me retrieve the money from the bank where it been deposited by my late father  for investment purpose, the procedure is that you have to contact the them to initiate the process.

Your full name / address: ............................

Identity card/Passport:................................

Age/Marital statue:...................................

Telephone number:......................................

Occupation:............................................

country................................................

As soon as this information are received, I will forward all the information of the bank to establish contact with them to start the process.

Awaiting to hearing from you soonest.

Best regard,
Juliet

I enthusiastically responded:

Your full name / address: ............................Tom D3lays, 11 Via Verde, Achewood, CA, 90714 USA

Identity card/Passport:................................984982424

Age/Marital statue:...................................36 single

Telephone number:......................................1-757-484-9987

Occupation:............................................lounge singer

country................................................USA

religion....................................................satanist

favorite color.............................................ice cream

favorite food.................................................black

dog's name....................................................Fernando Smellybottoms

Mother's name................................................Brucella Christina Donaldson-Higgensworth

Mother's SSN..................................................867-53-0900

Father's fetish....................................................diapers

Baby daddy........................................................NO

Microwave-owner................................................yes

Boss name........................................................Alexander Graham Bellbottoms

Boss's wife's mole................................................inner left thigh

Favorite singer........................................................Ted Bundy

Favorite serial killer...................................................Dick Clark

Least favorite person..................................................muhatma gandhi

Favorite person.......................................................... Marcellus Wallace

looks like a bitch..........................................................NO

Catchphrase................................................................."gosh-darned cunt"

MTCN............................................................................4759128790